Heidi Has a Mother?

I was pretty sure she was hatched from an ostrich egg, or maybe birthed by a Clydesdale.

If I was her mother, I would have bitch-slapped her into next week for dragging me into a photo-op on Mother's Day. As my mom always said "If I brought you into this world, I can take you out". My mother would also never let me date a total asinine loser like Spencer. This probably isn't even her mother, it's probably an actress.

Check out Spencer's face. This is her (typo, but I'm keeping it) surprise face. He practices it in the mirror.

xoxo

Nicole

PHOTO: TMZ