Pamela Anderson Is So Classy And Fresh-Faced.

Here's Pammy looking like the classy version of your favorite local Denny's waitress at a recent event in Las Vegas.

I mean, wow. When I dream of beauty, this is the vision that comes to me.

xoxo
Nicole

Michelle Duggar Pops Out Number 18 Tonight on TLC

Michelle Duggar popped out another one... blah blah blah. *yawn* This ho having a baby is old ass news. Call me when she decides to get her tubes tied, or snip papa Duggar's wenis. Then I'll care.

Tonight on TLC you can see number 18 come marching out to greet his/her fresh-faced family of Arkansas child-lovers.

xoxo
Nicole

Amy Winehouse Actually Exposes Her Flesh To Something Other Than Crack Smoke

I'm sorry if I've just ruined your day.

I know these photos are all over the interwebs, and surprisingly, I'm not really upset that shes topless. I mean, I'm not a fan of her crack nips hanging out, but her HAIR is the truly disturbing thing about this photo.

This is like a cruel joke. The hive that I have idolized for so long is MIA. In it's place, we get this strange mop that reminds me of a small Jewish boy. (PS: I love the Jewish people and their flowing locks. I also regularly practice Jewish guilt.)

I am going to rat my hair into a hive tonight, just to mourn. Someone, get a stylist to her STAT with several packs o' yak and some Elmer's Glue.

xoxo
Nicole

I'm Back. Miss Me?

Miss me? Thought so.

My life has been an abyss of loneliness without you. OK, not really. But I have felt a naggy loneliness, kind of like how I feel with there are no new episodes of SVU on TV for a long time. So, you're about equal with Mariska Hargitay in my mind.

We have so much to catch up on.

1. The Britney Comeback - I TOLD YOU SO. She might still be hopped up on a mix of Clonozopam and Abilify but I see improvement.

2. Barack - HOLLA!

3. The Inevitable Death of Wino - I'm still on death watch for our fave crackie.

4. The Rachel Zoe Project - Clearly, Brad was the star of the season. He's like a classier, less tranny loving version of Christian.

5. The recession - Selling ass on Craigslist looks pretty good right about now.



ANYWAY ,

I missed you dahlings. I hope no one hates me. Please stop back. I love you.

xoxox
Nicole

Going Bye Bye

So, running a real fully functioning blog is just... really too much for me right now. I'm getting frown lines and bags under my eyes. It's not cute. Between the blogs I run for work, and just generally being fabulous, I don't have the time.

Howevs, I remain committed to providing you with snark and sass via my microblog on TUMBLR and TWITTER. It's just easier on those sites.

Here are the addresses for both:

http://nicoleelise.tumblr.com/

http://twitter.com/NicoleElise

I'm not getting rid of New Obsesh quite yet, but we are on indefinite hiatus until I can figure out how to basically do everything all the time.

So please visit me on Tumblr and Twitter, and link my Microblog!

xoxo
Nicole

Why Does DK Always Look SO HARD?!?!

Lawd. Why do these ladies always look so hard in the face. They remind me of 45 year old barflies. Like the kind of women you see trying so HARD shopping in the juniors section at Macy's.

Get over it. You're old.

Also - Auberella, please do us all a favor and keep up with your hair maintenance. If I have to look at your roots one more time...

I will still watch them though. Every week.

xoxo
Nicole

PHOTO: Just Jared.

Alien Baby, Meet Your Future Sister.

"This is what mommy is going to stuff up her shirt for the next nine months until we can purchase you a REAL sister."



Either that, or they could ask George Lucas to build one. We know that bitch is good at building robots. He probs runs the Scientology stepford wife factory.




xoxo
Nicole