Are You Kidding Me.

Like my week hasn't been horrible enough already. Now I have to scrub vomit out of my carpet because I couldn't control myself upon viewing this.

So, to add to the disastrous trifecta of completely totaled car, no job prospects and failing self-esteem we have Heidi and Spencie being all patriotic-ish in front of the Washington Monument. Like these two even know what that is.

Gross. In case you're wondering, these two are Republicans. I won't say another word.

xoxo

Nicole

Photo: Dlisted

HATERADE

Springtime makes people dress crazy.

I must have seen ten girls today wearing the UGGS and denim mini combo. Bitch, it's fourty degrees outside, if you need boots, your ass should not be wearing a skirt.

Take note, this look is only appropriate if you are seven and wearing leggings under a skirt with UGGS on your way to first grade. Other than that, please never wear this.

Also, I would like to mention that wearing open toe shoes when their is snow on the ground, in combination with a winter ensemble just makes you look like a fool.

Please google the weather and take note of that shit when getting dressed. Also, do not combine seasonality in clothing to this extreme. It's tacky.

xoxo

Nicole

HATERADE PART DEUX

Again, I have to say I cannot include a picture with this post because I do not want Perez's FAT ASS fugging up my shit. This blog is amazing and I don't want his face disturbing my readers.

I ask you to boycott Perez because that freakshow did his own little version of Haterade on Diablo Cody. What P-fugly needs to understand about us bitches up here in the MSP is that we stick up for our own. Diablo is GLAMOUR. Perez just wishes he was so fly.

So Perez, I will find you and I will choke you with your rediculous Hello Kitty showercap. Keep Diablo's name out yo' mouth!


xoxo
Nicole

HATERADE

I didn't post a picture on this edition of HATERADE, because I don't want Perez fugging up my blog. My blog is gorge and I don't want that rainbow-haired monster on it.


I am so over Perez, and I just read a post on his page that made me want to watch him be eaten by warthogs. Ew. He would probs like that. He's into hogs.


The always gorgeous Naomi C. had to be hospitalized today to remove a cyst from her body. Perez felt the need to report that it was an ovarian cyst. HOW EMBARASSING for Naomi. I'm sorry, but PEREZ, YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE DISCUSSING CELEBRITIES OVARIES.


It's not like she bitchslapped someone, or showed her va-jayg in public. She clearly didn't make a statement on her condition for a reason. OVARIES ARE PERSONAL.


I know I write gossip on here, but in all seriousness, I just think that discussing a woman's ovaries is a line that should not be crossed.


Get well Naomi! Fuck you Perez!

HATERADE

Rumer, what are we going to do with you??

Potatohead and her old-ass mother went to the 1st Hollywood Domino Tournament in Bev Hills yesterday.

Dominos? WTF.

She looks like a cross between a cokehead, a potato, and Dita. Which is really infuriating because I LOVE the devine Ms. Dita Von Teese.

I mostly dislike her because she is famous simply because of Bruce and Demi. Totally talentless on her own, but whatevs. Sorry if you love her, I just DON'T.

xoxo

Nicole

Photo: Just Jared.

HATERADE

This picture is classic.

Lilo reminds me of a highschool freshman from Jersey who is about to go to her first homecoming. COMB THE CURLS OUT BITCH.

My NUMBER ONE PET PEEVE of epic proportions is when bitches curl their hair and leave the fully formed curls intact and spray the shit out of them. It reminds me of middle-aged Polish hos on the Southside of Milwaukee in the late 90's. *shudder*

I wonder who is responsible for this hair crime Lilo is rocking?

HATERADE

I admit it, I have a small obsesh with talking shit about others. Admit it, you do too. So, I thought I'd post some haterade.

Dear Gene,

Please do the world a favor and explore castration as a viable option for your future. The thought of your dirty peen makes me feel like vomiting. No wonder the raging beauty in the video with you is practically comatose. Also, give Ken Paves a call, he might be able to help that mop on your melon.

Love,

Nicole.

What a pig.