Alien Baby Is Growing Up So Fast.

Only Zenu's chosen ones would walk down the street looking like an Annie L. photograph.

Alien Baby is growing up so fast and is clearly learning that the quicker she grows up, the quicker she can get the hell out of the horror show that is her life.

Loving the dress on her, loving the whole look. She had better become estranged from them in her thirties and write a tell-all. DO IT SURI, THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW!

xoxo
Nicole

Could Tom and Katie BE More CREEPY?

Zoom in on this bitch. Seriously, I dare you.



Why on God's green earth is Katie looking more and more like a tall twink as the days go by? I am not liking the hair, and I suspect that Queen Tom did that makeup on her.



Tom, wearing Isabella's emo jeans with WHITE K-Swiss in combination with your tight ass shirt and moobs isn't cute. It just makes you look like a gay pedophile.




xoxo
Nicole



Photo: Dlisted.

I'm Baaaaaaaaaack

What better way to welcome you all back to my little slice of the internets than by posting a picture of Katie "I'm normal I swear!" Cruise (Holmes.), her big gayelle husband and alien baby celebrating our country's independence from those British prudes.

Homegirl looks SICK. Like, someone needs to stop the vegetable oil and niacin cleanses because her liver is about to go on a permanent vaycay. She must have permanent diahree. Nast.

In case you're wondering, the move went well. I am now a certified beach bum. I have an ankle bracelet and everything. Don't judge. I'm bringing it back. My posts may be infrequent for the next few days, but I'm back and ready to rage.

Let the gossip commence!

xoxo
Nicole

Photo: Dlisted.

This Looks Enjoyable.

God, they look so HAPPY.

Did you sense the sarcasm?

So, instead of spending Mother's Day with their MOTHER Nicole Kidman, the Cruise children were instead shackled to Tommy and Robot Katie. Excuse me, KATE. They went to one of DBeck's soccer games. What a totally un-fun way to spend mother's day. If I were Katie I would have demanded a golden statue erected in my honor and two hours alone with DBecks.

Happy Mother's Day Y'all.

xoxo

Nicole

PHOTO: Dlisted

GASP

Before you get your panties in a twist, I'm aware this is an extremely old photo of JLo. I wanted a picture of her before Marc got to her and turned her into his wierd build-a-bride. She became paler, fatter, and all around less hot when they started dating. I miss when she used to like to be called JLo. I don't give a shit what she wants. I will call her bitch, or JLo. She can choose.


So, according to DListed and Showbiz Spy, JLo/Bitch asked MISTRESS TOM to be her twin's godfather. Watch out, he's going to feed them to Zenu.


Why would you ever willingly expose your young children to Tom Cruise and Scientology. Tommy must be poking Marc on the side.

xoxo

Nicole