Drunk Blogging About Michael Phelps.

I'm trying a new thing. Drinking alone and blogging. Sounds delish and glamorous doesn't it? Not really, but until I can see my gay husbands Tyler and Jordan there really is no one worth wasting my expensive booze on. I am not a cheap drunk. That would be ridiculous.

Currently, I am sipping some MOET and wondering what it would be like to be royal.

God, I would make an excellent princess. Speaking of riches and gorgeousness. Check out sweet Michael Phelps above. God, can I PLEASE have his children. I don't care that he has Gomer Pyle face, I would hit it. He won like his five thousandth gold medal today. Whoopee. Get me a diamond tennis bracelet and I'll be impressed.


xoxo
Nicole

Wino Is No Longer Just A Beautiful Mess...

...she has full-on entered ugly as sin tragedy train wreck stage. Soooooo sad. If anyone can work the Camden Junkie-Chic look it's her, but this is like Sid and Nancy in the Chelsea Hotel covered in their own vomit ugly.

In case you are wondering, the tragic photo above is from her recent performance at The V Festival.

I'm officially on Wino Death Watch.

xoxo
Nicole

Photo: Dlisted.

Alien Baby Is Growing Up So Fast.

Only Zenu's chosen ones would walk down the street looking like an Annie L. photograph.

Alien Baby is growing up so fast and is clearly learning that the quicker she grows up, the quicker she can get the hell out of the horror show that is her life.

Loving the dress on her, loving the whole look. She had better become estranged from them in her thirties and write a tell-all. DO IT SURI, THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW!

xoxo
Nicole

Margaret Cho Is Amazing And Coming To A TV Near You.

God I love this woman. I love everything about her. She goes places in her acts that no one else dares to go, and I admire that so much.

Plus, the bit about her shitting her pants while on an all-fruit diet gets me every time.

The Cho's new show (aptly titled The Cho Show) will be premiering on VH1 August 21st. AKA: I will not pick up the phone if you call me. I'm sorry. Her midget assistant is far more entertaining than you.

xoxo
Nicole

Photo: A Socialites Life

Olympic Fever.

I am in LOVE. Michael Phelps is giving me straight up Olympic fever. Michael, please give a Sicilian girl a chance.



xoxo
Nicole

Is It Wrong That I Would Let Cilian Murphy Do This To Me?

... and that I would LOVE IT?

I was stalking one of my usual Facebook haunts and found this.

Sigh.

xoxo
Nicole

Could Tom and Katie BE More CREEPY?

Zoom in on this bitch. Seriously, I dare you.



Why on God's green earth is Katie looking more and more like a tall twink as the days go by? I am not liking the hair, and I suspect that Queen Tom did that makeup on her.



Tom, wearing Isabella's emo jeans with WHITE K-Swiss in combination with your tight ass shirt and moobs isn't cute. It just makes you look like a gay pedophile.




xoxo
Nicole



Photo: Dlisted.