Buh-Bye For Now

Hello all you crazy whores.

So, blogger has some random bug that keeps fucking up the color on my photoshopped photos. Whatever. I'm leaving tomorrow for a short vaycay to visit my grandmother with my mother. Apparently, she doesn't have the internets. *sigh* So, I will be taking a breif posting hiatus until I return Tuesday, March 19th. Hopefully they can fix their stupid bug by then.

I'm off to pack and ready myself for shorts-wearing. While I'm away... check out the blogs/pages that I linked to over to the right. ----> They should satisfy you until I return. Although let's be real, who's as fierce as me? no one.

Loves you!

xoxo
Nicole

Some Issues With Blogger

I'm having some issues uploading photos and shit. I'm going to try and post more later.

xoxo
Nicole

Eco Glamour

This cutie is NVEY ECO Organic Erase. According to Sephora it is:

"A certified organic corrective makeup that conceals blemishes, dark circles, and other imperfections."

It is also supposed to function as both a foundation and eyeshadow primer. Sexy. I love eyeshadow primers. You can sweat, dance, cry, vomit, and your shit will still look fierce. Plus, the fact that it's certified organic is amaz. I love organics. Who wants to pollute themselves with nast? Not me. I'm as pure as the freshly driven snow.

Organic Erase retails for $30.00 and comes in two blendable shades. click the title of this post to view it on Sephora's site.

xoxo
Nicole

Good God.

Ew. God, she looks terrible. Im sorry, I don't care how thin you are, get a damn tan on your legs before you rock shorts or a skirt. The least she could have done was go to Rite-Aid and get some sunless tanner. Even Britney goes to Rite-Aid. Rumer looks like the drugstore tan sort of gal to me.

Additionally Rumer, you look like a discount Kat Von D. Bleh.

xoxo

Nicole

V and D Becks Love Sex Toys

Posh and Becks were spotted at The Pleasure Chest in Hollywood buying vibrators, lube, and..... wait for it.... wait.... a whip and a padded collar.

I wonder who gets whipped. I think it could go either way with these two. Either way, if they ever made a sex tape it would be bigger than Titanic. They would show that shit in movie theaters.

xoxo

Nicole

PHOTO: DLISTED

Girl, Please Eat.

Here's Nicky Hilton, skinny as ever showing up for her own show at LA fashion week.

I'm really over this people. I appreciate natural slimness, and if that's how your body is naturally, more power to you. I may love fashion and celebs, but I do not love unnatural thinness.

Nicky, please eat something. You ARE a naturally thin girl, but this is gross.

xoxo

Nicole

PHOTO: DAILY MAIL

Meat Panties.

So, after running out of "shocking" photoshoot ideas for the girls on ANTM, Tyra decided to just go for disgusting. I'm kind of over her photoshoot ideas. I never watch ANTM anyway. I used too, but now it's just boring.

The model above is wearing meat panties. Seriously. The whole concept behind this shoot was like "meatlocker chic". Somewhere in rural America, the next Ed Gein has stockpiled these for porn. sick. These photos aren't even artistic.

Big ups to my rural peeps though, no offense ment by that.

xoxo

Nicole

PHOTO: DLISTED

Interactivity Yo.

In the spirit of blog love, and because I'm a hot mess today, I thought we should have a discush about our worst outfits. Ever. Think hard bitches, I really want you to comment about your biggest mishaps. We all know how fabulous you are now... blah blah, but I want to hear about the time you thought it would be extra fierce to wear a sweatshirt as leggings.

I'll go first. I have many.

1. As a child I thought it was amazing to wear strechpants. All the time. I never wore anything else between the ages of 5-10. I didn't own jeans until third grade.

2. I once bought a pair of entirely gold glitter covered jeans. Whenever I walked glitter fell from my ass and from between my thighs. I was 16.

3. Also during my slutty teenage years, I owned a pair of jeans that laced entirely up the sides. From the floor to my hip. I looked like I belonged on Rock of Love.


I'll be completely depressed if I did all this fashion faux pas soul baring to you whores and no one leaves comments about their fashionably challenged days. I know some of you very well, and I'll expose your fashion crimes.

xoxo
Nicole

I Love My Gays.

Now, some of you hate Chrissy. I don't hate her, it's more like I have a love-hate relationship with her. I her videos with the same sick fascination that I would reserve for horror movies during the bloody parts.

Minus the over-acting, this video is sooooo true.

Where my gays at???

Holler.

xoxo

Nicole

Christian on Ellen

I know I'm wayyyy behind in posting this, but here is Christian looking extra fierce on Ellen.

LOVE YOU CHRISTIAN!!

XOXO

Nicole

2008 CFDA Nominees

According to Style.com, the CFDA nominees are...


Womenswear Designer of the Year:
Francisco Costa for Calvin Klein
Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough for Proenza Schouler
Marc Jacobs

Menswear Designer of the Year:
Michael Bastian
Thom Browne
Tom Ford

Accessory Designer of the Year:
Michael Kors
Tory Birch
Marc Jacobs

Swarovski Award for Womenswear:
Kate and Laura Mulleavy for Rodarte
Thakoon Panichgul
Alexander Wang

Swarovski Award for Menswear:
Patrik Ervell
Tim Hamilton
Scott Sternberg for Band of Outsiders

OK Magazine Needs to Stop

Dear OK Magazine,

Could you please get a hard-on for someone else besides Britney?

Number one, we know her ass leaves the house. Just because she is not mindlessly driving between Rite-Aid and Starbucks for hours doesn't mean she's a "prisoner". So tots dramatic of you.

Number two, I'm soooo over your wannabe "breaking stories" and "exclusives". We all know your ass makes that shit up.

Love,

Nicole

You know there is no way this shit is true. Britney's too loaded on Xanax to even remember Justin.

xoxo

Nicole

Greasy Bear Gets Denied.

TMZ has a hillarious video of Greasy Bear Davis getting denied from a show at LA's Fashion Week.

HAHAHAH. Click the title of the post to view.

xoxo
Nicole

Who What Wear Daily Video

Adnan Has a Bigger Rack Than Me.

Is it just me or does Adnan have major man Ta-Ta's in this picture? I mean, they don't even look like pecs, they look like actual breasts.


Adnan, there comes a time in every girl's life when bras become necessary. Please consider that shit.



xoxo
Nicole


PHOTO: DLISTED

I Am A Hot Mess Today.

It seems ridiculous to blog about looking fabulous as I sit here in a University of Minnesota hoodie and New Balance shoes. Don't hate. I looked fierce yesterday, promise.

So instead, let's gossip and make fun of others to make me feel better about being a hot mess.

xoxo
Nicole

ASHTON? ARE YOU BEHIND THIS??

OH MY GOD. The hair is clean, and almost styled. She is wearing a bra.

Ashton, are you behind this??? Is this "Pop Fiction"?

God, I hope not. KEEP GOING BRITNEY. Follow Daddy's advice.

xoxo

Nicole

Ashton Attacks.

Look Ashton, this was funny for like five minutes. We all know Gene Simmons isn't bald. His disgusting brillo pad head is to fug to be a wig. No self-respecting wig and weave shop would ever make a hot mess like that.

Now, if you can get a picture of Britney looking like she did in the "I'm a Slave 4U" video, or hell, even if you can get a picture of her with a matching outfit on I'll give you props. Until then, eat me.

xoxo

Nicole

Daryl K. & Kerrigan Fall 2008 RTW

The genius who brought us the low waisted jean has given another great collection.



Here are my two favorite looks from the Daryl K. & Kerrigan Fall 2008 RTW.

xoxo

Nicole

Ali Lohan Looks Busted

God these two just look all sorts of used. Ali Lohan looks like she tricks at a truck stop and Lindsay looks like her haggard mother who works at the gas station.

Ali Lohan is 15. God, I looked way better than that at 15. I was tots fresh, like a spring mist.

xoxo

Nicole

PHOTO: DLISTED

I Love These Trannys

I am not ashamed. I watch "Making the Band" every Monday and I love that shit. I have followed these bitches since before Aubrey was a whore.

Here is the new video for the DK single "Damaged" from the new album, "Welcome to the Dollhouse". More like welcome to the whorehouse. But, in a good way. They are like the kind of whores I want to be friends with.

We show stoppin'.

xoxo

Nicole

Kelly O. Sings Like a Banshee

Kelly Osbourne performed on ITV's "Guilty Pleasures" this past Saturday and sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart". I thought it was pretty cool, she doesn't have an amazing voice but she has a cool sound. Make your own judgements.

xoxo

Nicole

Brit's Coming to TV Y'all!!!

Word on the internets is that Brit is coming to TV y'all! Apparently, she showed up to the set of "How I Met Your Mother" this morning with her agent to do a read-through for a small one-time role that could potentially turn into a regular role. Pink Is The New Blog says that she was "very funny" and "professional".



In other Britney news, Dlisted is reporting that Brit will now get an allowance of $1,500.00 dollars per week from daddy. Excellent steps in the right direction Brit!!!

xoxo

Nicole

Tarte Cheek Stain

I wore this gel blush for about three years, and I love it. I recently started wearing another cream blush, but I would definitely but this again.

Tarte Flush is a great smooth gel blush that comes in a bunch of shades. It's sheer and isn't hard to apply. Which is good because it's not intimidating to makeup beginners.

Click the title of this post to view on Sephora's site. It retails for $28.00

xoxo

Nicole

Travel Glamour

As you know if you read my blog, I am going on a trip with my my madre to visit the grams in AZ this upcoming Saturday. Planes are never friendly to my makeup, I always end up greasy and stuff after a flight. Considering that you can't take any makeup/lipgloss on a plane that's larger than 3 oz, this mini-kit from Benefit is perfect for in flight touchups.

It's called "Justine Case" and it includes "Some Kind of Gorgeous", "Benetint", "California Kissin' ", and "Eyecon". Basically all the things you need to look fabulous. I love Benefit products and I bet this would be a great buy!!

xoxo

Nicole

Work Appropirate Discount Glam

The best part about this super cute combo is that you can get both pieces for under $30.00. Not kidding. I'm all about finding cute work-appropriate clothes, since I have to go out into the real world soon. ick. The main thing to remember when wearing a top with alot of detail like this one, is to keep jewelry to a minimum. These earrings are funky, but don't detract from the details on the top.

Both pieces are availible from Forever 21, the earrings are $4.80, and the top is $22.80.

Viva Discount Glamour!

xoxo

Nicole

Dear Ashton, Go Fuck Yourself.

The Avril pregnancy rumor was just another part of Asshole Kutcher's stupid new reality show "Pop Fiction". Incase you didn't know, "Pop Fiction" is exactly like PUNKED except Celebrities punk the paparazzi with different stunts, who in turn, report it to us. Apparently, Avril put on a fake baby bump and went shopping for baby clothes in LA. Like I give a flying fuck if that ratty looking lady and her washed-up husband want to procreate.

Ashton, get a new idea for a TV show. PUNKED is over, "punking" people is over. All you did was take PUNKED and put a new spin on it. I'm bored with you. Aren't your fifteen minutes up yet? Go home to Mommy, er.. I mean your wife.

xoxo

Nicole

PHOTO: DLISTED.

Alien Bride Auditions

Marc Headley, some former Scientologist crazy is like the 500th person to talk about how Tommy Dearest auditioned women to be his wife under the guise that they were auditioning for a role in MI:3.

According to News of the World, some Scientology bitches like Erica Christensen were "presented" to him but that he wanted a bigger star for his future alien bride.

Marc claims it went down like this:

“They went for Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, in that order. Jennifer and Jessica didn’t bite but Scarlett took the bait and came in for an audition. When she arrived and found out it was the Scientology Center in Hollywood, she freaked out and didn’t do a tape…”

Katie wasn't even top three! Look at you now bitch, and you weren't even his first choice. Locked up and brainwashed forever. So sad.

Excuse me, I have to go purchase a gun and barricade myself in the house because you KNOW the Scientologists are coming for my ass next.

xoxo

Nicole

PHOTO: DLISTED. I LOVE YOU.

Goddess Bunny

I'm a grown woman and I really had to force myself to watch this video the whole way through. I was honestly scared.

Watch it if you can stand being creeped out, there is no blood or gore, nothing perverted. Just a creepy person. Click the title of the post to view the YouTube page. I didn't even want to embed it on my site because that shit would give me nightmares.

xoxo
Nicole

I Wish This Was a Real TV Show.

Just watch this. I have nothing to say, other than I hope this will one day be a real TV show. Just click play on the little box to watch.


VIDEO: DLISTED
xoxo
Nicole

OF COURSE Brit's stalker is from Minneapolis.

First of all, I'll point out that this of course is a very old Brit pic. I prefer to use attractive photos of her. I miss old Brit. She'll be back bitches, she'll be back.

So if you haven't heard, Brit has a crazy stalker from my home sweet home, the MSP. Apparently, he has been sending her packages to a LA address, but not her home. So, I really don't have a fucking clue where he is sending them. They have sex toys and handwritten letters in them.

The creepiest shit of all is that he inclosed a picture of himself, which DLISTED said appears to be:

"a middle-aged caucasian male with stringy, greasy hair — with the eyes cut out of the photo, in which he appears to be squirting some sort of yellowish liquid into his open mouth."

I'm convinced it's a guy that works in the parking garages at the University of Minnesota. He works in the booths where you pay. I see him all the time. CREEPY.

xoxo

Nicole