Leona Lewis is Amazing.

Dearest Leona,

I am IN LOVE with you in a totally hetero way. I listen to "Bleeding Love" non-stop. I fantasize about running around in an eighties prom dress with Andrew McCarthy like I am in Pretty in Pink while that song plays in the background. Sigh.

Love,

Nicole

Incase you don't know her, I need to tell you that you should. She's some amazing British import who was on the TV show "The X-Factor" over there. Kind of like American Idol. Anyway, her full album comes out March 18th in the US. The same hot bitches who wrote "Umbrella" worked on her album.

In the words of Borat:

I AM VERY EXCITE!!

Update/Correction on the Britney Dramz (if you care)

So, I guess that the courts were NOT involved in getting Brit Brit visitation with her little 'uns. Apparently, busted-ass Kfed actually wants Britney to see them (READ: he needs more money) and is very impressed with her progress, SO he worked with Daddy Spears to establish visitation.

Those kids are already so fucked it's redic. She's going to be feeding them Cheez Doodles and Cherry Coke from a bottle faster than you can say "Oops I did it again".

TAKE THE MEDS BRITNEY. TAKE THEM.

Chanel Blue Satin is Like a Wonderful, Shiny, Pimp Ass Cadillac

As I strolled past the Chanel counter while at the mall, a glorious sight caught my eye. A lone bottle of Chanel Blue Satin.

It's sold out all over the place, even from Chanel online. I asked to see the color on my nail and I nearly dropped dead at the sight. Angels began singing and I felt the same way I feel when my Celexa kicks in each morning. In other words, delirious and happy. It lives up to the hype in every way, and the only way I can describe it is that it reminds me of a pimp-ass shiny Cadillac.

I bought the very last bottle at the Mall of America. Take that bitches!!

xoxo

Nicole

UPDATE ON HEATHERETTE FOR MAC

So, I was informed today by a rather testy M.A.C store employee (who wasn't all that cute and had bad makeup on) that the Heatherette collection will be arriving in stores MARCH 27TH!!! Well, that's the Mall of America store. I can't be sure if all stores are on the same schedule, so you might want to call yours if you are interested.

I will be waiting at the mall when it opens on that day. Wearing a glamourous tranny-like outfit in celebration.

I'm so excited. I am making a paper chain with rinestones hot glued all over it. Fierce.

xoxo
Nicole

Mama's Gon Git You!

Well be still my heart.

Britney is FINALLY going to see her offspring again. Apparently, the judge in her custody battle as well as both teams of lawyers are redic (rediculously) impressed with how Daddy Spears has been able to haul her ass back from the dark side.

Word is she will be seeing SPF and JJ pretty soon.

I posted a pretty picture of Brit because I long for the days when I restricted my food intake to look like her. Sigh. I miss her and Justin in those matching denim outfits.

xoxo

Nicole

Lip Balm Glamour

I am a self-proclaimed lip balm fanatic. I cannot do anything without it on. My least fave thing in life is chapped lips.

How cute are these lip balm tins? Pin Up Lip Balm makes these lip balms in delicious flavors like Mocha and Citrus. They are cruelty free and made of all natural ingredients! YUM!!

The best part is, they are $4.00!!!

Click the title of this post to buy some of these delicious treats!!

HATERADE

Rumer, what are we going to do with you??

Potatohead and her old-ass mother went to the 1st Hollywood Domino Tournament in Bev Hills yesterday.

Dominos? WTF.

She looks like a cross between a cokehead, a potato, and Dita. Which is really infuriating because I LOVE the devine Ms. Dita Von Teese.

I mostly dislike her because she is famous simply because of Bruce and Demi. Totally talentless on her own, but whatevs. Sorry if you love her, I just DON'T.

xoxo

Nicole

Photo: Just Jared.

A Newfound Obession

I have fallen in love with Henry Holland.

The tots amaz UK designer deserves your attention. I'll post some of my fave looks above. Click the title of this post to go to his site.

Henry has recently announced a partnership with Levi's, where he will customize the classic 501 jean, and feature them in his show next season. Loves.

xoxo

Nicole

No Breakup For Paramore

After a little breakup scare yesterday, Paramore has posted this on their official blog:

"the music our collisions make!

hello everyone…
since we posted the last entry, we’ve gotten tons of phone calls and people posting things on websites saying that we are breaking up. i just want to make it clear, though, that by posting two nights ago we weren’t saying the band was over. we posted because we are going through hard times and we felt that because we have a really good support system in you guys, our fans, it would be better for us to just be honest about what’s going on - even though, it was a pretty vague explanation. man, some of the rumors that i’ve heard going around are insane! it’s weird how out of hand things can get even when you just try to tell a simple truth. (for the record, my eggo is not preggo). anyway, we just need to take time to make this band the best it can be… and we are doing that now.

thank you for all the love and the encouragement you guys have shown. and WE WILL! be seeing you guys on the 27th of March in Orlando, FL"

Good to know. I love this band.

xoxo

Nicole

All My Wildest Dreams Have Come True.

The GENIUSES that are Richie Rich and Traver Rains have teamed up with the GENIUS that is M.A.C for.... wait for it.... wait for it.... a makeup collection. I'm dying. Basically this is the epitome of sheer flaming gaudy trashbag glamour. I LOVE IT.

It is coming to stores in March. I have to set aside time tomorrow to make a paper chain in anticipation.

Fashionista says:

"The line includes nail polish, eyeshadow, lipstick, and pancake base, and comes packaged in day-glo hot pink plastic."

I anticipate spending far too much money on this. You should too.

I'll have sweet dreams now.

xoxo

Nicole

Osama Ordered to Stay Away From Brit Brit

Shocker.

In the drama that is Brit World, Osama has been ordered by a federal judge to stay the hell away from Brit at least until March 17 Thank god.

He's been accused of drugging her ass, and feeding her "Purple Drank". Incase you don't speak fluent ghetto, that's some henious concoction of cough syrup, sprite, and some other shit.

I'd like to know exactly how you force a grown woman to eat perscription pills. Who am I kidding, he probably crushed them up and put them in her frapps.

xoxo

Nicole

Too Faced? Why yes, I am.

On one of my numerous trips to ULTA I picked up this great Galaxy Glam Eyeshadow by Too Faced in "Supernova". It's pretty dark, so it's not for the faint of heart but I love the pink and purple sparkles mixed in with the smoky grey/black shadow. It retails for $19.50 but let's be honest, that's a small price to pay to look fab.

It's great for an updated twist on the smoky eye. Wear it and feel amazing bitches... I know I did.

xoxo
Nicole

Blog Comments

Soooo if any of you wonderous readers tried to post a comment and couldn't, you now can. I had to enable something or another and now you should be able to.

SORRY.

xoxo
Nicole

Sweet Jesus

If you ho's don't read Crunk and Disorderly (http://crunktastical.blogspot.com/) you def (definitely) should. Like I said earlier, I have some serious hip hop in me, and I go there for my daily dose of all things crunk.

While perusing the posts today, I came across a beauty about how my fave hood rat Trina is going to.... wait for it..... START HER OWN "COUTURE" CLOTHING LINE.

Some info from the website www.shoptrina.com:

Trina, hip hops ultra sexy diva has done it again! Trina may be known for being Hip Hop’s ‘Baddest Chick,’ but the Slip-N-Slide recording artist’s got enough style and heart to catapult herself into icon status. When it comes to fashion and style Trina has always been a trend setter. With her unique style and an appreciation of what women want, Trina will debut her Pink Diamond Couture clothing line for Spring 2008. Her high quality jeans are emblazoned with her signature logo on the back pockets. Imagine jeans with details such as leather, python and crystals. To add a personal touch to her line the collection comes with a Tattoo that is uniquely Trina’s. No detail is overlooked in the fabric, as well as design. The fit and styling are a sexy new look in the world of fashion.

“I have always imagined a clothing line that was high quality that I could offer to my fans. I Love the way the jeans fit and feel. I spent a lot of time creating special details that are fresh and unique. The best part they look really expensive but are priced right.”

Ugh. hand me the puke bucket. I'm envisioning clothes that harken back to her days as a stripper. I imagine there will be alot of strech denim and velour involved.

Sad.

Is there some dramz going on in the Paramore camp?

This was posted on their official blog.

"Hey guys,
As most of you already know, we have cancelled the rest of our UK/Europe RIOT Tour. First of all, we want to say we are so sorry for letting all of you down. We feel terrible about it and really didn’t expect for this to happen. It probably doesn’t sound like much but we just hate that we won’t get to play this show for those of you who had hoped to see it.

There are a lot of internal issues that have been going on in this band for quite a while now. A lot of it started right around the time we were gearing up for the RIOT Tour in the US. We were able to fight through all of it for this long but unfortunately we weren’t able to keep it together long enough to make it through ’til the end of this tour. We really feel that taking this time is going to give us a chance to get away and work out our personal issues at home and on our own terms. We just aren’t willing to risk the life of our band over one tour. That probably sounds terrible right now, to say that finishing a week of shows wasn’t worth it… but if we can use this next month wisely then we will be a lot healthier for the tours ahead. We hope that - even though it might be hard to understand - that you guys can support us at this time.

Maybe one day we will tell the whole story but for now, just know that all five of us are going to work so hard to get it right. You deserve that and we deserve to make this last as long as possible - and to enjoy every second of it. We love you guys so much. If you could pray for us or just keep us in your thoughts it would be really helpful. You guys have gotten us so far and been the best motivators since day one. We are so sorry for the trouble we caused you guys who bought tickets, fan club members and to all the promoters and venues that we won’t be there to put on a show for. We are extremely sorry to New Found Glory and all their fans who wanted to put on and see a show and who we’ve let down. And lastly, to Lost Alone.

We will keep you guys updated.
Love,Hayley, Jeremy, Josh, Zac and Taylor"

I Didn't Think It Was Possible For Me To Love M.A.C. More Than I Already Did

In case you didn't already know, M.A.C. has partnered with French grafitti artist Fafi for a limited edition run of colors and other cool shit like little figureines, scarves, bags, ect.

I'm a M.A.C. eyeshadow whore. I will be visiting the M.A.C. store in Uptown this weekend to stock up on some of the limited edition shiz.

xoxo

Nicole

HATERADE

This picture is classic.

Lilo reminds me of a highschool freshman from Jersey who is about to go to her first homecoming. COMB THE CURLS OUT BITCH.

My NUMBER ONE PET PEEVE of epic proportions is when bitches curl their hair and leave the fully formed curls intact and spray the shit out of them. It reminds me of middle-aged Polish hos on the Southside of Milwaukee in the late 90's. *shudder*

I wonder who is responsible for this hair crime Lilo is rocking?

Getting a Real Job Means New Clothes!!

Sadly, after many productive years of mooching, I must seek real employment. Bleh. If you're anything like me, the thought of boring "work appropriate" clothes makes you break out in a cold sweat and hives. Thankfully though, there are cute and trendy choices.

I am in love with this top/braclets combo above. I'm probs going to buy it this weekend.

xoxo

Nicole

Doris Duke was a hot bitch

So, Doris Duke was an amazing raging drunk rich heiress. I just saw the movie "Bernard and Doris" starring Susan Sarandon and I wish that there would have been paparazzi around in her day to document her debauchery.

Her daddy was a ciggie tycoon and the major donor/benefactor to Duke University. She was his only child and was a spoiled rotten globe trotter. Loves it.

The movie was tots amaz and is a must see.

Trashbag Chic

I'm a big ass fan of not washing my hair all the time. Don't cringe you judgemental assholes, I don't SMELL. I'm just saying, there are some days when you can barely shake yourself from your coma-esque REM sleep and alas you walk out the door without washing you hair, or maybe without a shower. IT'S FINE. Here are my personal steps towards acheiving Trashbag Chic.

1. Invest in Johnathan Product DIRT. It's amazing and it corrects a multitude of slept-on hair sins.

2. USE A BACKCOMB. Big dirty hair looks cleaner than flat dirty hair.

3. Heavy eyeliner is your friend. It makes you seem like a mysterious rockstar.

4. Jeans Jeans Jeans. Rolled up, skinny, wideleg, high waist, whatever floats you.

5. Boots of any sort. I happen to prefer some green Steve Madden cowboy boots that are old as sin.

6. A tee and a cardigan, plaid, flannel, knit, whatevs, as long as its comfy.

7. ACCESSORIZE. A bag big enough to fit a toddler in, some huge chola earrings and very large sunglasses. Throw a pashmina on for good measure.

See? You can still be a dirtbag and look good.

I Love Lamp

I love lamp. This is my new lamp. I am in love with the furnishings from Urban Outfitters, and this lampshade, paired with my couch pillowcases is glamourous with a retro vibe. Loves. I'm def (definitely) going to post my forays into interior design, so that I can share my finds with you all. Feel free to give me tips too.

The lampshade is $28.00 at Urban. Click the title of this post to view.

xoxo

Nicole

MIKE JONNNNEEEES

There are times I wish I had a huge ghetto blaster that I could carry around on my shoulder with me. Whenever I bump "Drop and Gimme 50" or " Turnin' Heads" I can't help but shake my shit. Don't judge, I have a little ghetto in me.

The songs are amaz (amazing). Go to ITUNES or ZUNE or whatever the hell you use and download them. Now. They are a personal fave for vigorous workouts, on or off the pole.

xoxo

Nicole

They'll Clean Your House and Spank You With a Wooden Spoon

Kim and Aggie are the HBIC's for BBC Channel 4's "How Clean is Your House?". They invade the homes of filthy bitches across the UK and whip them into shape. I'm tots (totally) OCD about cleanliness yet I can't help but watch in sheer horror as they scrape dried shat off of people's toilets. It's a trainwreck, yet I can't look away.

Plus, Kim's hair is sheer glamour.

xoxo
Nicole

HATERADE

I admit it, I have a small obsesh with talking shit about others. Admit it, you do too. So, I thought I'd post some haterade.

Dear Gene,

Please do the world a favor and explore castration as a viable option for your future. The thought of your dirty peen makes me feel like vomiting. No wonder the raging beauty in the video with you is practically comatose. Also, give Ken Paves a call, he might be able to help that mop on your melon.

Love,

Nicole.

What a pig.

Some Kind of Gorgeous

Right now I am redic (rediculous) obsessed with Benefit's "Some Kind of Gorgeous". It's this amazing silky smooth creamy foundation that goes on so sheer and light but somehow covers any and all imperfections. It blends with pretty much all lighter skin tones, and for you darker skinned beauties, they just came out with "Some Kind of Gorgeous Deep". Amazing. Retail is $26.00. So worth it.

I put my mineral powder foundation over it for a fabulous flawless finish.

xoxo

Nicole

Welcome and Shizz

Hey Bitches and welcome to my blog.

If you don't speak fluent abbrev, New Obsesh is "New Obsession".

I'm sure you'll be all kinds of obsessed with the fabulousity that I post here.

xoxo

Nicole