Daisy From Rock of Love Obviously Hasn't Had Her Fill of STD's.

Dear Daisy,

God, you are so disgusting. Aren't you sick of looking like a ghetto muppet? That aside, I have to tell you girl, fire your plastic surgeon and get off your obsession with rockers. It's not healthy. We all love musicians, but you seem to have a keen radar that attracts you to the skeeviest. Yuck.

Love,

Nicole

Daisy and Dave Navarro were photographed coming out of some bar in WeHo last night. Suprise suprise. What an upgrade for her and a severe downgrade for him. Love you Carmen.

xoxo

Nicole

Photo: Dlisted

Lindsay Lohan Needs Sponsorship...

... and it's not the kind that keeps you from hitting the bottle at 3am. Don't get me wrong she needs that too, but it seems that LiLo has had a website set up for the express purpose of getting sponsors to pay for her 22nd birthday.

Quick, someone call K-Y, Fleischmann's Vodka and Virgina Slims. They need to get on this. Oh, and Mystic Tan.

If you want to see this vomit inducing excuse for "marketing" click the title of this post.

xoxo

Nicole

Heidi Has a Mother?

I was pretty sure she was hatched from an ostrich egg, or maybe birthed by a Clydesdale.

If I was her mother, I would have bitch-slapped her into next week for dragging me into a photo-op on Mother's Day. As my mom always said "If I brought you into this world, I can take you out". My mother would also never let me date a total asinine loser like Spencer. This probably isn't even her mother, it's probably an actress.

Check out Spencer's face. This is her (typo, but I'm keeping it) surprise face. He practices it in the mirror.

xoxo

Nicole

PHOTO: TMZ